Posted in Craft, The Nitty Gritty of Children's Writing

Letting Go of the Words on the Page

I told another writer, “I wonder if the beginning of your scene would be better if it was chronological.” (It had two short flashbacks to a time shortly before the present time.) Then I realized my current chapter opening wasn’t chronological either! As I rewrote I realized my flashback meant I glossed over an important scene with a summary.

My excuse—it was an old piece of writing. Sometimes words on the page are hard to change. I think I would have been better off starting with a blank document. “To fall in love with the first draft to the point where one cannot change it is to greatly enhance the prospects of never publishing,” said Richard North Patterson. I’d add “any draft.” 

I’ve learned a lot since I first wrote that chapter. I’ve even blogged about keeping scenes moment by moment and being on scene for important parts of a story. Obviously, I needed to reread my own posts before tackling this chapter revision.

Amanda Reynolds said, “…compelling scenes in novels are perfectly formed and distinct whilst adhering to the overarching story and theme.” A summary is not compelling. That’s fine, if it’s a simple transition. But in my case it was an argument the main character has with his mother and it affects the whole story! And I’d summarized it! I never would have realized it without critiquing someone else’s writing.

So, how do we let go?

First, be open. Open to change. We have to be prepared to look at our writing with new eyes, even if we’ve been writing for a long time. We have to see what’s actually on the page.

Distance doesn’t always help me with this. So perhaps, I need to examine the purpose of the scene. Why did I write this section? What is it for? What mood do I want to establish? What do I want a reader to garner? In my chapter, it was the inciting incident, not simple backstory where I’d shoved it.

Second, get feedback. A critique of  our writing helps us see our blind spots. That means we have to be ready to listen. Willing to think about it. Whether the suggestions are spot on or not, they usually point out something is not working. How we fix it is up to us.

Third, pay attention to what you say to others. You might teach yourself something as I did. Ask yourself questions. Why is this bothering me? When you figure that out, you might discover you have been doing something similar.

Finally, have other projects. Don’t have all your hopes and dreams tied up in a single manuscript. It may be that this is not the right work-in-progress. At least for now. Having another project to work on may let your subconscious work on the story for you and you might come back to it refreshed by the break. Or you may find the other manuscript moves ahead by leaps and bounds and you no longer care so much about the first one.

Letting go is a painful process, but I want to leave you with this encouraging thought from Kelly Barnhill, “That’s the magic of revisions—every cut is necessary, and every cut hurts, but something new always grows.”

Posted in Craft, The Nitty Gritty of Children's Writing

Six Elements for Openings

A number of years back, I went to a Donald Maass (literary agent) event on “The Emotional Craft of Fiction.” (There’s also a book: The Emotional Craft of Fiction: How to Write the Story Beneath the Surface.) I really enjoyed it and learned some new craft tools to apply to my work. If you ever get a chance to hear him speak, I strongly recommend going. His website is here and to read specifically about Donald and where he is speaking, go here.

A portion of his talk that really struck me is the six elements of openings. Some were familiar, and some were presented in a way new to me. Here they are:

  1. Mood?
  2. Story question?
  3. Life or death?
  4. Language/style?
  5. Need/urgency?
  6. Strength

Note they all are questions, but the latter. We want strength in some way from a main character. This allows us to trust that the protagonist is going to lead us on an interesting journey.

Donald illuminated these ideas with sample passages from several books and one unpublished manuscript. I’m going to briefly show these elements with an example from a book I’ve read, Alone (Aladdin, 2021) by Megan E. Freeman. This is all from the first poem, which you can read on Amazon’s read sample. (You may want to stop here and read it first.)

Does it make you want to read on? It definitely did so for me. It’s not even the most active scene. But I was hooked.

Here’s how I answered those six element questions:

The mood – lonely existence

Story questions – Why is she alone? How has she been surviving? Where is her family? What happened three years ago?!

Life or death – life and death

Language/style  –  poetic

Need/urgency – survival

Strength – Yes! This is one strong girl who has to make decisions most of us will never have to make.

For me when I look at the opening of a book, the most difficult element question to answer is language/style. Since this one was a novel in verse, it was easier in this case.

We can analyze the openings of our own manuscripts by using these elements. Or ask our critique group or beta readers to answer these questions for us. If their answers aren’t what we expect, that may be okay. But if the answers are not where we wanted the opening to take them, it’s back to the keyboard.

For further reading, additional posts on my blog:

Hooking your Reader

The Power of a Good First Line

Professional Problem Maker

Rhyming Picture Book Openings

Posted in Craft, The Nitty Gritty of Children's Writing

Introspection

Introspection – The act of looking inward to examine one’s own thoughts and feelings.

Introspection by your main character is good, but it can also be too much of a good thing. I get annoyed when introspection does the following:

  • Happening when there wouldn’t really be time for it. The bombs are falling, the cougar is about to pounce, we’re running from an enemy, etc. Who has time to think about anything beyond the danger?
  • Going on so long I forget where we were. Wait? What was happening? Oh, yeah, the main character was just about to do something. Maybe the thoughts shouldn’t go on so long, or should relate directly to the future action. Or maybe a transition would help fix this problem. (Character thought: Now what was I going to do? Oh, yeah, make my bed.)
  • When it replaces interaction. Characters should do more than think, they should also act. And specifically interact with other people. K.M. Weiland has a great example of introspection replacing interaction here. A good question to ask is, would this be better shown with conversation or action than thoughts?

I like what novelist Gail Gaymer Martin says, “Too much can be boring since introspection is passive, and too little deprives the reader of getting to know the depth of a character’s needs, longings, and struggles.”

Too little introspection? This is where my critique group asks, “What is he thinking?” or “What is she feeling?” We read because we like knowing what’s going on in someone’s head—the why behind their actions. Write what your character is thinking to give insight to her actions and decisions. September C. Fawkes says, “Often if there isn’t enough introspection, the audience struggles to follow, logically, what is going on and why.”

I saw this list of useful questions for writing introspection on a Reddit post by wdjm:

  • Why does he feel that way?
  • How does he feel about feeling that way about the action (ex: if he’s happy a bad guy got hurt, does he feel guilty about being happy someone got hurt, even if it was a bad guy?)
  • What does he hope happens next?
  • What does he dread might happen next?
  • Does he want to tell someone about what’s happening? (“I can’t wait to tell my BF about this!”)
  • Or is he scared someone might find out about it? (“I hope my mother doesn’t learn about this!”)
  • Maybe he doesn’t really care about what’s going on. What’s he thinking about instead? (“Oh, the neighbors are fighting again. How annoying. Hmm. Maybe I’ll order a pizza tonight.”)

Check that your main character’s introspection serves a purpose. Does your character change because of his thoughts? Does she realize something new? Is a new action realized due to the internal monologue? “Introspection is one of the key elements of growing up and moving forward,” Kelly Rogers says. That works for our characters too.

Just like with description, mixing internal dialogue in with action helps avoid too much at once. “That new understanding or new goal or desire, and the size of it, may only become apparent in bits and pieces and stages, not necessarily one huge Moment.” – Emma Darwin

Introspection should also show something of the main character’s personality or beliefs. I love this quote I found in an absolutewrite forum, “Make sure it oozes personality: Is your character funny? Sarcastic? Morbidly dark? Hyperbolic? Adding bits of their personality to the introspection makes it more engaging.” – Raivnor

Keep on target. Elizabeth Grayson says, “While our thoughts sometimes come in stream of consciousness, a genre fiction character’s thoughts are relentlessly logical. They must segue from one to the next in a manner the reader can follow — even if the character you’re writing is a flake.”

For further reading:

Note:

Interiority – The sum total of a character’s internal life—their thoughts, feelings, emotions, and physical sensations.

“3 Common Interiority Mistakes (and How to Fix Them)” by Savannah Gilbo

“How to Write Introspection Well: Show ‘Just Enough’” by September C. Fawkes

“The Importance of Interiority in Novels and Memoirs” by Mary Kole

Posted in Craft, The Nitty Gritty of Children's Writing, Tools

Ouch! Black-eyed Character

My character got punched in the face and hit his head on a locker when he fell. Of course, the school nurse checks him out and has him ice it, and recommends a trip to the doctor. His mom takes him and it’s all fairly simple: “he’s fine.”

But then…

I had my own fall where I hit my head (do not recommend passing out). My doctor’s nurse said I should go to the ER. Where not only did I get checked out by the ER doctor but had a CT scan of my head and x-rays of my bruised shoulder.

My personal experience sent me to the revision table. Now my character doesn’t just go to an urgent care clinic, but to the ER. And now, yes, he gets a CT scan too. Neither of us had brain damage thankfully.

As I rewrote I kept checking the interwebs for details on black eyes—it’s been years since I had one—and I needed reminders on how long the swollen “can’t see” stage lasts. Plus, how many days of color and the changes to the color of the bruise. I also re-examined the following scenes to ensure I hadn’t forgotten my character’s sore eye and how it affects his experiences.

So, my advice to you, don’t just rely on your memory when a character gets injured. Make sure you medical knowledge is up-to-date and accurate. Use reliable sources, not merely anecdotes.

Injury Writing Resources

Today I came across this useful article that another writer shared. I hope it is helpful to you too. “The Injuries Checklist” by K.M. Allan

That made me wonder what other resources for writing about injuries there are. I found this one by Angela Ackerman: “Want to Show Your Character’s Pain? Here’s Everything You Need to Know.” What a great resource!

Here’s another one: “Writing about Pain: Describing Major & Mortal Injuries” by Becca Puglisi.

And one last entry: “Writing Injuries: The Art of Appropriate Scaling” by Shonna White.

Injury Resources

My online go to is the Mayo Clinic. You can search “Diseases and Conditions.” I might also use WebMD. Of course, I browse for specific injuries as well. Here’s one for black eyes from the American Academy of Ophthalmology. In addition, I ask friends who are nurses or talk to those who have experienced what I want to describe.

Posted in Craft, The Nitty Gritty of Children's Writing, Tools

Changing from .doc to .docx

If you’re like me, you have old old manuscripts (finished or unfinished), that you want to revise. So old they are .doc files. Saving As a .docx is simple, but I found I had other issues to deal with in my YA novel.

Two spaces after periods. Easy fix, Find and Replace.

Tabs instead of indents. How I fixed it:

  • Use find (drop down on find, let’s you choose tab character) and replace with nothing. Of course, that means I have to go back into my header and add back in tabs that are needed.
  • Next, I Select All, and go to my ruler and change the indent. Yay, now when I add a new paragraph, it will indent automatically.

Ellipses. I used to use the Chicago Manual style with spaces between the periods. Somewhere along the line, I switched to AP style, no spaces…which means . . . looks funny to me. Again, I used Find and Replace to make them consistent.

Those changes made, I saved my file as a .docx.

BUT THEN THE SERIOUS CHANGES COME! (I’ve learned a lot since I wrote the manuscript I recently opened.)

Eliminate distancing. Also known as filtering, the character sees/hears instead of the action just happening. I must edit those instances. If you’re not familiar with this concept, check out this post.

Establish setting better. Am I taking advantage of my setting to help with mood or tension? Can I slip in specific details about the place to help bring it more alive? Does the reader know where we are? Not so much, then I’d better revise some more. “Ground Me,” might be a helpful post for your revisions.

Move the characters. It’s so easy to have characters sitting around talking. But I can do better than that. Here’s a post that might be a helpful reminder for all of us.

Check sensory details.  Am I using a mix or relying on sight? Yes and no, but I can go further. Like deepening emotion or mood with a sense. Or adding what this particular character has a tendency to focus on. This article has some helpful suggestions. I would also add the sense of temperature—it doesn’t quite fit touch, but it’s something I definitely react to and my character can too.

Some writers may wait to fix these after a manuscript draft is done. But for me, it helps the world of my story feel more real and important while I work on it. It makes me want to move forward, instead of sending the whole .doc or .docx into the trash bin.

Getting to “The End.” Basically, I must keep writing, writing, writing. For further thoughts on that  topic (under my writing for adults name) read this: “11 Reasons Why You Can’t Write the End of the Story.”