Critiquing and being critiqued can be a stressful activity under the best of circumstances. But sometimes difficult or downright awkward situations arise. The following addresses three of those times.
What do you do when you receive a hard or unfair critique?
First:
- Don’t be easily offended. Work at staying calm. (If you need to take a break and go cry right now, do so privately.) Step back and give yourself time to recover.
- Then take an honest look at the comments. Now that you can be more objective, consider whether these comments have validity. If they still seem unfair, focus on comments from other critiquers.
- Analyze the critiquer. Were they negative with everyone? If so, they may need to be exposed to or reminded of critique guidelines that discuss how important it is to give positive feedback. If you have a group leader, ask them to remind everyone of the guidelines. Or share an article with everyone on good critiquing habits.
- Get to know this person better. Perhaps other events in their life were influencing a normal positive attitude. Or it may just be a misunderstanding—what feels hurtful to you may be intended as humor.
Possible Responses:
- Say nothing, besides “thank you.”
- Speak privately to the person and express your need to hear something positive on your writing. Use I statements. e.g. “It’s easier for me to accept criticism if I also hear what IS working in my writing. It would really help me if you could tell me something you liked.”
- State clearly what you need. “I’m not looking for a line-by-line edit, I just want to know if the overall story arc is working.”
Tips:
- Try to separate yourself from the piece.
- Remember that most people aren’t intentionally malicious. Often it is thoughtlessness that hurts others.
- Move on.
This may be hard to remember, but consider: “Critique, feedback, reaction to one’s work or the way they have presented it, regardless of intention, is a gift.” – Mark Brand
What do you do when a member of a critique group brings a manuscript you cannot critique? This is probably rare if you’re in an established group.
Make sure you understand why you cannot critique the piece.
- For example, you find the content personally offensive—making it difficult for you to even comment on writing style, punctuation, etc. Or the manuscript is diametrically opposed to your beliefs and you can’t be objective. Then be prepared to speak honestly, but kindly.
Possible Responses:
- Withdraw from critiquing this piece. “I’m sorry, I need to pass on critiquing this manuscript.” Be ready to give an answer, if they ask, about why you do not want to critique it. e.g. “The language in this manuscript bothers me.” Or, “I’m uncomfortable with the subject matter.” If they don’t ask, say nothing.
- If the material is racist—not a historical representing the times—does your group have guidelines about the type of material offered for critique? If so, and the piece is outside the guidelines, politely remind the writer of the goals of the group. If your group does not have guidelines, discuss the possibility of creating them with the group.
- If the rest of your group is comfortable with this type of manuscript, perhaps it’s time to find new critique partners.
Tips:
- Remember to make “I” statements not “you” statements. For example, “I prefer not to read a manuscript with profanity.” NOT “You use too many curse words.”
- Comment on the piece not the author: e.g. “This main character feels racist. Was that your intent?”
- Ask questions: “Is this issue acceptable in middle grade manuscripts?”
What do you do when someone doesn’t want to critique your manuscript?
First:
- Don’t be easily offended.
Possible Responses:
- Accept it. Thank the critiquer and see what others have to say about your manuscript.
- Ask if the problem is with the style or the content of your manuscript? Some people don’t understand poetry and don’t feel they can offer any worthwhile comments. Others don’t like fantasy.
- If the critiquer responds “content,” you may want to ask for specifics so you understand the problem. Be as polite as possible even if you disagree.
- If the critique says style, see what others have to say about your manuscript.
Tips:
- Remember this is not personal. We all have our own tastes in what we like to read.
- If people in your group are frequently unwilling to critique your material, either this is not the right group for you or perhaps your manuscripts are not appropriate for the critique group. (For example, I wouldn’t take an adult novel manuscript to a children’s literature only critique group.)
I’d like to leave you with this one thought from Marcy McKay: “Criticism can hurt and may always sting at first. Every criticism is not bad, but it may not be helpful, either.
You have to measure the comments against your instincts. Only you know the true vision for your work. The secret is to not let criticism destroy your self-confidence so much that you give up on your dream altogether.”
Further Resources:
“8 Tips for Getting a Great Manuscript Critique” by Rebecca J. Allen
“8 Tips for Reviewing a Manuscript Critique” by Janice Hardy
“How to Deal with Criticism” by Susan Breen
“How to Utilize Feedback to Improve Your Manuscript” by Nathan Bransford