Here are some reading stoppers related to actions.
Contradictory Actions are those actions that don’t work at the same time. They stop my suspension of disbelief. They’re a bump in the road that slows the flow. Often, it’s two things a character can’t do at the same time.
For example:
- drummed fingers and clasped hands
- startled and froze
- spun and stayed still
The writer may mean them consecutively, but they are so close together they read as happening simultaneously.
The fixes include:
- choose one action or the other
- change your conjunction to “then”
- add more sensory details to separate the actions
Does that mean you can never have contradictory actions? Of course, not. People are contradictory after all. But you want to write them intentionally, not by accident. Here’s a resource: “Paradoxes, Oxymorons, and Contradictory Statements.”
Incorrect Chronology within a sentence or paragraph.
Writers sometimes put the effect before the cause. E.g. He opened his umbrella because it started to rain. The sentence is technically correct, but what happened first? The raindrops. Let the reader see and feel that instead of being told about it. E.g. A cold raindrop hit his nose and he popped his umbrella open. This feels more active than the first version.
Warning signs:
- action followed by “after” or “because”
The fixes:
- keep actions chronological
- think about action and reaction or cause and effect
What caused the character to react should usually come first. Read this excellent post: “Writing Motivation-reaction Units (MRUs According to Swain)” by September C. Fawkes.
Do you always have to write linearly? Again, of course not. Especially if you are making a deliberate choice to do so. Here’s an article on nonlinear writing related to the structure of a novel: “Writing ‘Out of Order’: How to Free Yourself from Chronology” by J.P. Rieger.
Duplicate Actions
This is when the character has already done an action and repeats it, but it’s not logical to repeat it. E.g. Jon scooted out a chair and sat down at the kitchen table. Usually there’s some dialogue and then it appears the writer has forgotten that Jon already sat down. E.g. Jon plopped down in a chair at the kitchen table. Wait, what? He was already sitting!
The fix:
- compare what your character is doing now and what your mc was already doing—this means rereading very carefully
- choose more unusual actions since they are more obvious when repeated
Here’s a very helpful article about choosing actions for your characters: “Small Actions, Deeper Characters, Better Stories!” by Tiffany Lawson Inman.
Not only have I found these issues in others’ writings, but others have found them in mine. This is one of the reasons I find a critique group so valuable.