While judging a YA Fantasy contest (requirements were a 2-3 sentence summary and the first 1000 words), I discovered many writers had no idea what to include in their summaries. Some had no problem, no main character, and/or no hint that the story was a fantasy. I don’t necessarily think a 2-3 sentence summary has to include all of that, but I’d expect two out of three.
Possibly the contest should have labeled these as “book blurbs” or “elevator pitches.” The purpose is multifold:
- to hook the reader and make them want to read on
- identify the type of book
- it may introduce the character
- it may establish setting
- it may establish tone
Think of it as putting a spotlight on your story. You’re not showing the whole stage or breadth of the story, but just important bits where you want the viewer or reader to focus.
The best way to learn how to write these in my opinion is to look at examples. Since the contest submissions included fae/fairies, witches, magic, boarding schools, other cultures, and romance, I went searching for recent YA fantasy books that had these elements. The first few lines of the summaries or book blurbs are posted below. (These are from goodreads.)
Divine Rivals by Rebecca Ross (2023)
Summary beginning
“After centuries of sleep, the gods are warring again. But eighteen-year-old Iris Winnow just wants to hold her family together. Her mother is suffering from addiction and her brother is missing from the front lines. Her best bet is to win the columnist promotion at the Oath Gazette.”
Once Upon a Broken Heart by Stephanie Garber (2021)
Summary beginning
“For as long as she can remember, Evangeline Fox has believed in true love and happy endings… until she learns that the love of her life will marry another. Desperate to stop the wedding and to heal her wounded heart, Evangeline strikes a deal with the charismatic but wicked Prince of Hearts.”
Lightlark by Alex Aster (2022)
Summary beginning
“Every 100 years, the island of Lightlark appears to host the Centennial, a deadly game that only the rulers of six realms are invited to play. The invitation is a summons—a call to embrace victory and ruin, baubles and blood. The Centennial offers the six rulers one final chance to break the curses that have plagued their realms for centuries. Each ruler has something to hide. Each realm’s curse is uniquely wicked. To destroy the curses, one ruler must die.”
Heartless Hunter by Kristen Ciccarelli (2024)
Summary beginning
“On the night Rune’s life changed forever, blood ran in the streets. Now, in the aftermath of a devastating revolution, witches have been diminished from powerful rulers to outcasts ruthlessly hunted due to their waning magic, and Rune must hide what she is.”
Stealing Time by Tilia Jacobs, Norman Birnbach (2024)
Summary beginning
“When there’s no time left, you have to steal it!
New York, 2020. Tori’s world is falling apart. Between the pandemic and her parents’ divorce, what else could go wrong? Plenty! Like discovering that a jewelry heist forty years ago sent her grandfather to jail and destroyed her family.”
Zodiac Rising by Katie Zhao (2024)
Summary beginning
“At a secret Manhattan boarding school, the Descendants of the Chinese zodiac have hidden away since the source of their magic—the twelve zodiac statues—was vandalized and lost to time. Thus, a curse befell the Descendants, and they’ve lived as creatures of darkness . . . until now.”
Emerald of the Sea by Kimberly Pearl (2023)
Summary beginning
“Seventeen-year-old Emma doesn’t know who she is or where she came from. The not-exactly-legal merchant ship she was raised on is the only home she’s ever known, and she’s had enough of the captain’s lies. Her plans to break free from her three-masted prison are thrown off course by a deadly mutiny, and she finds herself on the run with a target on her back.”
So far, I’ve only read one of these books. But they all sound fascinating!
Here are some statistics. Of the seven books…
- seven hook me
- five definitely point toward the fantasy genre
- five identify the main character
- five introduce a problem or an action
- five hint at setting
- all have tone—look at these words and phrases (gods warring, wounded heart, curses, witches hunted, stealing time, creatures of darkness, deadly mutiny)
- only two identify the main character’s age
Harry Bingham says, “Make it memorable.” And, “An elevator pitch for a novel is a very short summary of what makes the book:
- Unique
- Striking
- Fresh, and
- Compelling”
Read more of this article here on Jericho Writers.
Nathan Branford says, “The important thing to remember is that a good pitch is a specific description of what actually happens in your novel.” In his article he’s actually talking about one line pitches or loglines, but there’s still helpful advice. Look at this: “There are four basic elements in a good one sentence pitch:
- The opening conflict (or the Inciting Incident)
- The obstacle
- The quest
- The stakes”
(If some of these terms are new to you, there are links in the article.)
Lynne Collier is writing about a logline or elevator pitch, but again helpful info:
“5 key components of writing a fantasy/fiction logline
- Main Character – the hero/protagonist
- Their Situation – their daily life
- Their Objective – what they want that they don’t have
- Their Opponent – the person or thing that gets in their way
- Disaster – you’ll need an epic battle or devastating event”
To sum up, first we need to know:
- who your main character is, and/or what kind of world we’re in
- what the problem is (quest or objective, disaster or stakes).
Consider adding a sense of setting or tone.
Make your description compelling to hook a reader.
To make it stronger, run it by other writers who can tell you whether they are hooked or not.