Posted in The Nitty Gritty of Children's Writing, Tools

Observations about a Manuscript

Today I was so struck by one critique partner’s statements on another partner’s brand-new first chapter that I want to use them too. Here they are:

What I know.

What I think I know.

What I want to know.*

With What I know, one example was, “the girl wants independence from her mother.” She also commented on the story being “coming of age.” We all got that the main character is interested in a specific boy and the mom is a detective. We also know it’s the first day of eight grade.

Her statements about What I think I know included that the book was contemporary. We might guess the girl is an only child as no siblings are mentioned. We think we know she’s grieving.

What I want to know comments included sense of setting and what people are wearing. I personally wanted a hint of a bigger problem, as well.

I might add another: What it makes me feel. Sympathy for the main character? Amused? Curious? Sharing these thoughts could be helpful in a critique as well.

*Author Barbara Herkert learned these statements when taking Hamline’s MFA program. I’m thankful she shared them with us today.

Posted in Craft, The Nitty Gritty of Children's Writing, Tools, Writing Life, You Are Not Alone

Seven Elements for a Good Critique

Writing is a solitary act for most of us. And usually we are too close to what we’ve written to see what is working and what isn’t. This is where a critique can be powerful. My favorite critiques are from other writers. (This is all separate from an editorial letter from an agent or editor, which would be after critiques.)

I’ve been in a number of critique groups as I moved around the country. Critiques of my work have caught typos, pointed out awkward or confusing sentences, asked for more depth, inspired me, taught me, and corrected me. My critique partners have suggested where to tighten, brainstormed when I’m struggling with a particular issue, shared marketing news, cheered successes, discussed possible comp titles, and become faithful friends.

So, what elements make a good critique?

First, encouragement. It can be as simple as “I like this character” or “that was such a lovely phrase.” Or even, “I know you’ll figure this problem out.” I love this quote from Judith Martin aka Miss Manners: “When virtues are pointed out first, flaws seem less insurmountable.”

Second, kindness. A lot depends on how something is said. For example, “I’m not getting this” versus “This doesn’t make sense.” Margaret Chase Smith  said, “Every human being is entitled to courtesy and consideration. Constructive criticism is not only to be expected but sought.”

Third, honesty. I’d much rather hear something isn’t working than be told polite lies that will become evident when others see my manuscript. “We need very strong ears to hear ourselves judged frankly, and because there are few who can endure frank criticism without being stung by it, those who venture to criticize us perform a remarkable act of friendship, for to undertake to wound or offend a man for his own good is to have a healthy love for him.” -Michel de Montaigne

Fourth, knowledge. Most of us don’t know everything about grammar and spelling or punctuation, but critiquers need to have some basics to catch others’ mistakes. My group also shares resources on various writing issues with each other.

Fifth, readers. Those who read in the category and genre you write will have a better understanding of what is working in the current market. “The quality of your reading (and the depth of your engagement with what you read) improves the quality of your thinking and subsequently, your writing.” -Lark Morrigan (And I’d add, your critiquing.)

Sixth, questions. Sometimes I learn more from questions than anything else. “Why is your character doing this?” “Where or when is this happening?” “What is your character’s motivation?” It makes me realize I haven’t made those things clear. Or, maybe I never thought their motivation—oops! One of my critiquers often asks, “What’s the heart of the story?” Such a good question. Audrey Chin says, “Critiquing has taught me that the best stories are still the ones that move hearts.”

Seventh, time. One of my critique partners always says she reads a manuscript first as a reader, then secondly as a writer. It takes time and attention to detail to notice a wrong word was used, or to think why a section isn’t working. My partners give me the why which helps me understand how to make changes. And, of course, there’s the time we spend together in person or via Zoom discussing manuscripts.

In conclusion, I’d like to share this thought from Duane Alan Hahn: “You are a glorious, shining sword and criticism is the whetstone. Do not run from the whetstone or you will become dull and useless. Stay sharp.”

Posted in The Nitty Gritty of Children's Writing, You Are Not Alone

Cut in the Critique

princessdiariesToo long, needed to more quickly get to the point, didn’t add to the story, wasn’t enough of a comeuppance for the bad girl… The comments by the director about the deleted scenes for the movie The Princess Diaries (2001) are valuable reminders for editing our own stories. (Watch them on the DVD.) As I did, you’ll probably find yourself agreeing, yes, that scene wasn’t necessary. Or, yes, it’s a stronger story without this one. The director even cut some of his favorite scenes to make a better movie.
Enabling us to produce better manuscripts is why critique groups exist. Watching the director commentary was almost like getting a bird’s eye view of a critique from start to finish: the pre-critiqued version and the tightened, more focused version. For me, it gave me additional tools for looking at scenes in my own fiction. I learned these questions*:
• Does this add to the story?
• Does this get the emotional reaction I want?
• Am I getting to the main point here?
• Will the reader care about this?
• How does this make my main character appear?
• Is my antagonist getting what he deserves?
• Is this the right time for this relationship/problem to be resolved?
I shouldn’t just ask these questions of myself, but ask my critique group to respond, too.
Does this mean I might have to cut a scene I like? Yes. Does this mean I’ll have to do rewriting and reordering? Yes. Will it be worth it? YES! If my story goes out to an editor stronger, clearer, better focused, my odds of acceptance are increased.
*Variants of these questions may also be useful when critiquing others.
• What is the emotional reaction you want from this scene?
• Your main character seems rather useless here, is that what you want me to think?
• Do you think your villain is getting what he deserves here?
• Should these characters be getting along so well in this scene?
In addition to being more thought provoking, critique questions can also make a nice variation from “too long,” “need to get to the point more quickly,” etc. statements.
Got any other movie examples that help remind us what to edit in our own stories? Feel free to share them here.

Posted in The Nitty Gritty of Children's Writing, You Are Not Alone

Critique Methods

A SAMPLE FACE-TO-FACE CRITIQUE GROUP
In this scenario, each writer brings a manuscript for critique. Depending on the size of the group, it may be limited to 5 or 6 pages, or other groups use a timer. Hard copies may be brought for each critiquer to make notes. Otherwise, blank paper is needed. The writer or reader (can be someone besides the author) reads the manuscript aloud. The critiquers take turns commenting on what they found.
THE READER needs to say:
• what the piece is: an article, a short story, the opening of a novel, an essay, etc
• who the audience is: adults, children (if so, what age), secular or religious market
• if a specific market is in mind, say so (i.e. Highlights Magazine)
• word length
• MAY say, this is a first draft, but NOT apologize

THE CRITIQUERS need to:
1. Listen and write down comments as the piece is read–a simple way to note what you think is by using, plusses, minuses, and question marks. e.g.
+ flapping gums – lifeless cadaver
? why did Matthew …. + Amy’s character
+ smashed – was walking is passive

2. Give a verbal presentation of their critique, stating something positive first (i.e. I like your idea, how you showed your character, the title, etc.)
3. Share areas of the writing that were confusing, that could be phrased better, etc.
4. Make marketing suggestions, if something comes to mind.
5. Don’t repeat every thing that everyone else has already said, though feel to add “agree with” and/or “disagree with or I got that” on written notes on manuscript. May say, after saying something positive, “the only thing I have to add is . . .” If you disagree with another’s comments and feel it needs to be said aloud, say so nicely.
6. Give written comments to the reader when done.
The next READER passes out manuscripts and reads. Everyone gets an opportunity. Many leaders keep track of the order of readers presenting from meeting to meeting, so someone isn’t always first or last.
Some groups send material ahead of time to each member to read so the time together is only spent sharing comments.
Groups often form long-lasting relationships. But sometimes a group is not a match. Try another group.
ONLINE CRITIQUES
Online critique groups work similarly, but have special needs, especially the notating on the manuscript itself. There are several methods that make it easy to do however.
• If all members of group use Microsoft Word (and similar versions), the commenting option is a great way to put reader’s comments in a manuscript. Each member will save the pages being critiqued with their own name added to the file name, so the writer knows who wrote which critique in case of questions.
• Other groups might use a combination of highlighting (e.g. green for what the critiquer likes and yellow for areas of concern) with comments typed in CAPS to separate them from the manuscript. Text boxes can be used as well for comments.
Usually with either of these methods, every member of the group sees general comments in email, but only the writer sees the line-by-line comments. In either case, both general comments and manuscript notations will include positive as well as negative.
Some groups use an online work space, such as google docs or pbworks, to upload documents and post comments so everyone in the group can see others’ comments.

ONE-ON-ONES

You may also find that a particular person in one of your groups is especially good at helping you in an area of weakness. Perhaps you can do one-on-one critique exchanges with each other.
In my case one critique group had been telling me that I needed to share more of my character’s emotions. I’d look at my chapters and think, Where?! I met another gal who read a chapter and said, “I want to know what she is thinking/feeling here.” She told me exactly where in the manuscript. The proverbial light bulb clicked on. She was willing to read the entire manuscript in exchange for the same from me. Her input was invaluable.
Some people find someone to do a critique exchange via an online writers group, or at a writers workshop or conference. If you don’t know someone well, always agree to a trial of either a chapter or so many pages, instead of promising to exchange complete manuscript novels. Make sure you each find the other person’s comments helpful before proceeding.